Hurting One Another

Hurting One Another

by Neale Walsch

“The feeling of being hurt is simply an act of forgetfulness. You have forgotten who you are, you have forgotten who the other is, and you have forgotten what you are both doing here. You have melted into the maya, you have become the illusion. You are living the story you have created, as a playwright who has fallen asleep and is dreaming that he is living his own script.”
– Tomorrow’s God, page 337

People hurt each other in relationships because they do. They do it because they do.

There is no Larger Reason for it, such as `working out karma from past lives,’ etc. It’s just something that happens. It’s part of life. Nobody hurts another out of villainous intent.

Remember these two important teachings: ”No one ever acts inappropriately, given their model of the world.” and “All attack is a call for help.”

People hurt each other because they want something they think they can’t have, or have something they don’t want. They are in one of the above two conditions, and they don’t know what to do about it. They think that the only method of getting their way, having their desires met, etc., is to hurt another.

They do not HAVE to do this, but they do not know that. They do not understand how to “have what they want,” or `not have what they don’t want,’ without hurting another.

The problem is education, not intent.
Greet each instance of hurt with compassion and love. Compassion for the other person’s lack of understanding (we have all been there at one time or another), love for the other person’s humanness and their attempt ` however apparently misguided ` to solve their dilemma and keep on trying to make life work.

We are engaged here in a process of Becoming, of Creating, of Being. Some of us are Being more than others. That’s just how it Is. That’s what I call an “Isness.” It’s just what’s true. Accept that with a smile. Embrace that with love in your heart. Understand, deeply, that no one wants to hurt you. They simply do it inadvertently or perhaps, indeed, on purpose because they know no other way to have the experience they desire.

The next time someone hurts you, ignore the hurt and go to the only question which matters: What do you want or need so badly that you feel you have to hurt me to get it?

You can ask this question silently, in your heart, or, if you have a particularly open and honest relationship with the other, you can actually address the question verbally. Try it sometime. It is a terrific argument stopper. It is a terrific abuse ender.

What do you want or need so badly that you feel you have to hurt me to get it?

What is it you want to have, or feel, right now?

Is there a way I can help you to have that without giving up who I am?

Even asked silently, in your own heart, these questions can change the moment so dramatically, so immediately, so powerfully, that you won’t even know what happened. And your “partner” in the dance will wonder what new level of Mastery you’ve gone to!